Monday. Time to find newness. Time to find new things to hope for, and surprises and earnings and gifts. Time, also, to be challenged in ways you’ve never been challenged before. You can do this. You want to be better. You can be better, and you WILL BE BETTER. You will have sunshine inside you again (promise). It’s the promise of every Ending. The way you are now will end when you become renewed, but enough of you remains to remember. Someone scraped the bottom of her grinder and found a blessing during hard times in the form of one last keef-y bowl.
THE PRIEST WHO DIED This priest who died, had an NDE and reported on it in an interview I watched, he said “the bible is a crutch. It helps people cope with life when otherwise they cannot. They are broken and they need a crutch until they don’t”. That is what I remembered and I remembered also that these people I work with, they are broken. They are limited. They are as limited as me but perhaps less intelligent. The interesting and beautiful thing is, he remained a priest. He was literally here to heal people within their culture (church, bible, etc) using their tools, and their language to guide them through the chaos of being soul-possessed monkeys (which I believe we are). He was even open about his belief and NDE experience. I am happy and relieved he gets to keep his job. People like him, who accept and understand others are true bridges and great teachers. Openness is critical to growth and helping people in general.
I’m making a new way of journaling. Shit, did I say this already elsewhere? Here below are some things newly entered. The yellow Owl and random thoughts are from today, 1/5/21. The dark owl with black ink squaggles and outlined is yesterday. Owl is my go-to for just opening the door to drawing or painting. It is the the door wedge. I can do an owl. I can handle and owl. Owl is wise and brings me messages through the door, besides.
TUESDAY. My sense of humor is a gift I am grateful for. Nature and nurture gifted me on that one. I grew up in a family that has a great sense of humor, regardless if it is sometimes over-the-top and occasionally insensitive.
Released Too Soon In The Wild
Released in to the wild too soon, was she. Her fur soft, but thinly. Her small body, perfect but fragile. Her heart was a hollow filled up with bees. But in that hollow once bees bumped and bounced, was now filled with honey. A bee’s nest of delight. She lifted the golden dew and held it above her like the sun. Above her head, with lowered eyes, she cast the light on e’eryone.
I want to have the equipment and skills for aging, as well as going into the problems of middle age, the Long Autumn. I want to help bring the truths of beauty into the world, not the truths of brutality. Not proofs of separateness. Everyone already knows about the separate but connectedness of life. (Those who don’t suffer). What about the beauty of being cared for? Who would I want that taken away from? Nobody.
I am hoping we get some rain this year.
Remember that red-skinned apples are medicine to you. They will sing inside you when you eat them. Let them in.
Oh my gosh today was gooooood. I went to an interview. I was so unhappy about having to go. WHAT is more stressful?! But, I enjoyed the drive up there, without music, just the commanding voice of Google Maps Lady telling me when to turn right, etc.
Later that day…I GOT IT! I GOT THE JOB! MY FIRST INTERVIEW, MY FIRST TRY AND I GOT IT! lol I am soooooo happy and nervous about being the new girl.
The man I will be working for…he is an open heart. He has compassion. He is attuned to certain things. I read him very, very well and I think I may be in good company (though professional. I am not currently shopping for friends, especially not at a new job). It’s possible I could be free here. Intellectually, spiritually. Coming from a place of total suppression, being a kind of secret witch, it makes one a bit of a hermit of the heart. I also know to be extremely careful and shut-mouthed for quite some time, until I know them rather well. It isn’t necessary to find like-minds, but it would be nice and FUN!
THURSDAY – A MAGICAL, PROFOUND OCCURANCE
Sparrowhawk Medicine. The art of focusing on one’s highest objectives, filtering out all negativity that could lead to a drain of one’s precious energy.
Many things you want are already in your grasp, but distractions must be eliminated to see into the hidden, secret realms of the secret world. Once distractions are eliminated, perception is amplified.
Diligent practice. Wisdom, once applied to what we practice, becomes what we become. (Ritual creates reality. Focus creates amplification of observation and output).
Here’s the link to the site I gleaned this info from: https://www.universeofsymbolism.com/sparrowhawk-symbolism.html