Water & Light

I sketched this on my phone on the flight home. I’d love to turn it into a painting. I love that the figure doesn’t just look like she’s glowing, but that she’s made of light, and is enjoying the physical world. I would keep it looking just like this, but it would be a physical thing.

We are made of water and light, and stardust.

We feel so much pain, and so much of the time. Our bodies ache or itch or long-for. We are injured and sometimes crippled by consequence of living.

I dread the idea of reincarnation. From the first loose tooth of childhood; broken bones; influenzas; food poisonings…we suffer a lot. The suffering never really ends. There’s always something. Yet, there is glorious beauty and fellowship and feeling-states that make it delicious and sensational. Sharing good things. Being felt by, wanted by, and resonating with others. Etc.

My point: just like Satan said once in a movie, I’d like to live deliciously.

I am on the inside, banging on doors that are my own to open and answer.

But oh how I wish you were here. ❤


In other news, these personalities I have at the workplace are overwhelming me. I need to understand that I am not responsible for their outcomes. But I don’t want to be a bitch, either. I can choose to be a bitch or be at a place of progress in whateverwaypossible. Being in the place after a place of power is very difficult and scary for me. I get insecure about my abilities vs my arrogance. I want to be good because when I am good, I feel amazing because I feel whole.

I don’t want to go to work tomorrow. I’d rather die. I need more fun. More.

Where is love’s gaze at the end? At the end it is in the mirror. Love cannot exist without The Other.