August 25, 2021

I was born in the sign of water. Magnificent song. I want it in my tombstone; over my heart, neck, breast, chest and head.
This album art is atrocious.

I’m too hard on myself. It’s ok to be tired of how things happen, how things are made. it is ok to be tired of living life in a certain way. Change requires physical action; requires discomfort.

I have a hard time not exaggerating discomfort. I have gotten through 100% of everything, so far.

Riding. Waves.

That’s how I have gotten through everything. Every one of those waves, high or small I had to ensure I stayed on top or, alternately, had to go through. This is exactly a fact.

Each wave? Ride it. Focus on the breath (the action). Focus on timing (the meaningful appointment with Self).

I didn’t know what to make of it, and I was confused.

mf source: https://www.thesaurus.com/browse/long

Silence means: stillness; quiet; quietness; speechlessness; soundlessness; still; hush.

So, here are some beautiful synonyms for my confusion (because now I think I know, but I’m not sure):

a deep stillness
a continued quiet
an enduring speechlessness
a great soundlessness
a prolonged stillness
a far-reaching hush

***

It’s very important that people start teaching what they love. Teach. The question for me is: What do I love? When I was a child, I was somehow also fully grown; we come to life being so self-aware and exponentially growing that is seems (or is) an invisible (and non-material…!!! !!!!! !!!omg omg omg, I love writing.

Maybe I should work on becoming a better writer. I would like to write books about being alive and illustrate them. With photographs, with drawings. Maybe only occasionally music. For my blog, yes, music I’m loving in the moment is crucial to memory-keeping. But for my separate, give it to the world when its done kind of book-making kind of thing.

***

I should bring my aromatherapy oils to work to share with the other girls. They could be quite brightened by the aromas. Deb gave these to me – to us; she dropped them off on her way home from Earth.

Don’t snack; and, don’t eat after dinner. Why must we control ourselves from having too much goodness in life? Because our bodies aren’t built to stop us from killing ourselves with how much “fun” is out there to be had. we are so inundated with bounty that we are totally on overdrive and we hate it and we can’t stop.

I think this has become an interesting journal. It’s been coming along for some time now. I made it! If this was the last post ever, I’d feel I made something that is “whole”.

Author: Jen Crow

©Jen Crow. Be sure to ask for permission to use my artwork or photos. I warmly welcome comments and questions.

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