It Was Never Meant To Be Pretty

It is better to have love than naught.

All that matters is what I think of and about my Self. That’s all we really have control over, truly. Prove me wrong. I’ll fight you for it – you’ll lose.

Extroversion and enthusiasm and zest for flight – these kinds of people I don’t like to see those people suffer. But they do. Here’s an important thing:

It is a fascinating time to be alive. Fascinating, I suppose as it has always been to be no one in particular. A freckle on the nose. A cute feature of a gnome’s dream, us. Us. The absolute and total separateness of Us. Yet here we all are, together, embracing fully only in our dreams. Dreams lost to tides of hopelessness and helplessness, we. Yet life, it is so truly beautiful, and magical, and MYSTICAL!!! Violet and indigo! Fuscia and yellow!!! Light and shadow!!Beauty, filth, and chaos. Together. Dividing, and multiplying. Ruination. Reincarnation. Revelation. Reunification. Regeneration. Regulation. Ruination. Reincarnation; etc. It sounds scary, and it is.

I would like to make videos of me talking to the Universe about what it is like in this glass jar.

Oh, Brittney Spears is a fucking human-trafficing victim.

This is a hot piece of music and a trippin’ video. I’m an instant fan of Yves Tumor!!! Visceral but innocent, like meat-eating angels.


Hilarious. Adorable.
This sound is so good!
Surely I have posted this one before, but can’t remember. I always think it isn’t good enough, but then it sneaks up on me now and again and I’m in another place, and I hear it in the background and I lazily fall in love with it, and realize “i really love this song”. It’s profound even though I don’t necessarily want it to be. Interesting is all.
“This” + “video” is “fire”. This takes me to the spacedance.

You know why you really have to be yourself, and really love yourself, and really know yourself? Because no one else, no matter how much they do, will ever love you or know you fully. No one person. Never. Ever. That is why self-love and self-acceptance are crucial to one having a happy life. Critical; needed; a must.

An Everyday Angel, or, a Rude Genius? Which one would I rather be? The one in the middle. And that one is? Human. Totally, straight vanilla human. A monster and a savior. I have that inside me. It’s the secret to my understanding of self (and acceptance and understanding of everyone else, too), kinda like the first truth I ever knew about myself. I would love to save you, but under other circumstances, I’d love to see your bones crushed and such. Needed: broader understandings; better interpretations. Goodness for once and all. Who we are is important. Who we are matters. Profound, are we. Really, I really mean that.

When the waters come in, what is tall will fall.

Some days, you just ain’t winnin’. Some days you’re the bully and somedays you’re the victim; but usually you’re just some guy out in his backyard, trying to

Symbolizes such a huge part of life for me. Good things, and great. It’s on the soundtrack of Who I Am. (The other song is ‘On The Turning Away’. *Caw**!!Caw~**!!Caw~**~!!

Good Art is worth making, Jen” That’s what my guardian angel told me. We, in life, carve our knives through the body of the Ocean. We weep. I am an artist. I am a mystery writer.

Understanding is not the same as knowing. There are many schools. Higher schools. It’s a serious time. Some types of times last years. Many of them do.

A client brought me a huge slice of chocolate cake from BLUEBERRY HILL! The memory of being outside, facing east at pre-dawn. Watching the magical-blue sky of the Unicorn Dawn. The stars, the planets Venus and Mars. Empty desert lots that were turning the sharp corner of going from nothing-really’s to becoming extremely valuable. Before Walmart was everywhere and all hope was lost.

I feel like I should go back and delete at least half of this post here; but I don’t want to edit. I just don’t. They can’t all be gems. I may have to let some fields grow wild and be full of repetative daisies. Shitty, obvious daisies.

Everyone should have a church inside them that worships their rainbow self. I know I’ve got one, and I know it makes me batshit insane, but it also makes me very special, even if no one can or will ever see it; BUT, but, everyone relates to this. They know at the core how special they are – that’s part of why a lot of adults hate a lot of children, you know? Anyway, everyone – every fucking one of us, of them – is just as golden. At the core we are all lonely and that makes us a little sad, but there is a cure for that: it is Self-love and love of the Other.

Not getting high isn’t working out.

But I’m having a good, good life. A very good, interesting, sometimes fun, sometimes shitty life. It’s all good, even when it’s bad.

Author: Jen Crow

©Jen Crow. Be sure to ask for permission to use my artwork or photos. I warmly welcome comments and questions.

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