The Deja Vu. They are not common for me, the ones with intense significance, where I recognize the situation from a dream. The very interesting difference with this one is that the dream was very dream-like and symbolic, unlike “normal” deja vu’s that are more like “having seen this situation occur in a past dreaming-state”. This one required interpretation, and it’s timing was right for me to take it seriously and really think about how to “handle” it. Very, very interesting. Also unusual was how I tripped out during the deja vu. I was dizzy, almost having to try to stay in the present moment rather than slipping into …almost like falling asleep. It happened while I was at work. It lasted a long time for a deja vu. Very weird. Very helpful. I feel like I have a conscious, accessible, do-able task for myself that I know will improve the quality of my life and self-fulfillment. Wow.
So much to go through and post. Super fun seeing again and I enjoy posting them, for sure. If the artwork’s too crappy, I won’t post it, but almost everything else, yes. There’s some funny stuff, too. I love to appreciate my own work after not seeing it for a long time. Sometimes, I don’t end on good terms with my own drawings and paintings. I used to be ashamed of some things. But now, I see that these things are precious for ever having been created at all.
See the starry, dissolved effects in the paint above? That is the effect of using salt on damp paint. There is a trick to using not too much water in the paint, or letting some of it evaporate off before salting. Too much water and the salt will dilute enough to cause it to bond with the paper. It’s a fabulous effect. I used it here on my new-then watercolors, made with honey as a binder. And on my new-then pads of watercolor paper, bonded together with glue at the edges so you don’t have to tape down all the edges or stretch the paper. I wouldn’t have it any other way. I hate the set-up process of painting!
There’s more, and I’ll post that later. I think more here would be too much. It’s been fun. I wonder if when I’ve gone through it all and posted what I want to, if I will enjoy the emptyness of having done that. Like, maybe I’ll feel open and free to create some new things with more current relevence. If so, how different will the work be? I feel like instead of taking a more complicated direction, I will take a more spontaneous, looser direction and just not worry so much about anything. Lots of these little pieces reflect that anyway, but I would like to recover a sense that artmaking is just a way to relax and unbundle my mind.
I’m doing great at work. Have made myself valuable and reliable and resilient. I am on a 12 hour set of days this next week and we’ll see how I do. I may really like it. As long as it’s busy, I sort of have found I thrive on the “panic” of things and it is helping me learn the job. I have had to stand my ground on the amount of days I’m wanted there, however. I have made it clear what I do not like. With only one significant demand, I’m a very flexible One who is highly cooperative. I have found that I truly am an amazing coworker and employee. Yes, they are lucky to have me. Making myself that way increases my quality of life, without a doubt. I love bringing good things to others through my work.
Oh! A fascinating psychic time at work. I’m on the phone with a new client. We take info to enter it into the system before they arrive so the welcome is smooth upon arrival. I ask the gentleman his last name (had good vibes somehow coming from him, too. I wonder of that doesn’t have something to do with it). I know it just before he says it. I am amused and pleased. Then, even before I ask him his first name, I know (this is what’s called claircognizance) it is ‘Christian’. I ask. He hesitates for the splittest of seconds and says, “Chris”. I didn’t not ask if it was short for Xtian, but I don’t need to ask. I already know. So. Cool. Just open channels? Cooperation? Like-minds? I really wonder. I’ll never know. I’ll never tell this person. These secrets are mine to keep and wonder about.
The music situation is still highly repetitive, but I am now very much enjoying the upward spiral I see it has become. So much Peter Murphy and Daniel Cavanagh and Lo Moon. Gorgeous music.
And that is all.