Here in my sweet and lonely desert, it is made known to me, simplified, that nothing is separated though none merges with the other. At first instinct, one sees the desert as a flat, repetitious pattern of struggling and depleted life, of a gasping and burning place; even hopelessness of a kind for which we seek barriers of self-protection. But in my years of experience within it, I have come to deeply love this place, so deeply, this life separate from myself. I enter into it like a child onto a stage. My mind opens up to it and my dreaming self comes through to participate it its shattered scape of shining truths. Here, my reality is glowingly represented as is my persona. A shining light imbued within each object and each direction is a horizon of vast potential and limitless freedom. Here, life is death and death is life. The hot sun, the shaded arroyos. The rabbit runs, the helpless tarantula does not know I am a god as it inches through my shadow to its destiny and then home. Here, I am the center and the sun does indeed circle around me.
My sad and wandering soul is grounded here in this place. My joyful and bright mind is cherished here – my love is received. I am enriched by it, and communicate with it privately in mutual acknowledgement. My heart knows what is true. When my love is received here I am made aware of my specialness and I marvel at my strange fears as they expand into my awareness as strange lessons and other beautiful-inside things. An interloper, I am the rabbit’s guardian and the mother of each stone, and in turn I am the child of it all.
Separated from the squall of the city and the neighborhood, I am made naked and unafraid of my life, my Self. Mirrored here, I am made a better communicator. This is my love letter to Forever, my love letter to you whom I nurture through my love for your soul, my endless acknowledgement that you are my treasure by which I measure the tragedy of my human life and compare it to the depth and breadth of my effortless love of your garden. Drawn out of me is the gold from my muddied personhood. I am shown through each flash and shine, each strange newness of place as the shadows of time change every perception of this landscape making itself a constant mystery.
In this ancient land, my tears are welcomed and my joy is enjoyed. Flash, and shine, and weeping, I am made equal to It and It is made equal to Me. Respectful distance is maintained and understood, for to lay down upon it is to risk the dangers of its underworld, but oh how I desire to lay upon it and curl my body against its every grain. To fall asleep inside it and rest inside the lullaby. Our song brings me sweet ache and tears, beloved, beautiful desert. Until that day, each time I leave you I am refined and cleansed by you. For that, I am forever yours and you are forever mine and all that must be done is nothing the Universe won’t do for us as we transverse this Mystery that we share – whether we are asleep and dreaming or awake and screaming.